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RE: RE: Corporate Team Building Retreat [ end]

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vote: no lynch, I don't know about you guys but besides random guessing we have no, no no infomation.


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Hi Everyone!!!

I'm so happy to see everyone's smiling faces. My Teurig machine is up and running if anyone brought coffee! If they didn't that's okay! I went and picked up some of the Green Mountain Breakfast Blend as Dr. Andahl suggested in case anyone forgot! Plus I have some reusable t-cups and a bag of Starbocks ground coffee (Hike place roast, if anyone was wondering) in case we run out of those! feel free to come on over.

That being said, looking over Dr. Andahl's report on different kinds of mottos is almost as refreshing as a good cup of coffee! Your efforts have certainly motivated me to do my best in thinking up a motto for myself as well.

I think my own personal motto would have to be... A positive outlook will carry you through hardship!

Please note that as per my usual duties, I've scheduled a few meetings throughout the day with you guys! Please check you calendars and take care not to be late! I'll be supplying everything needed for the meetings so please feel free to just bring yourself!

I'm not sure who I would want to have go in for an HR evaluation. I feel like our team has so mmuch to offer... perhaps a vote: no lynch would be better for now. I'm not against poking a couple people to make sure they vote today though! :)


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Mr. Smith sir, I have a question. If no one's voted for employee evaluation, does that... no... it's a dumb question. I'm sorry, Mr. Smith sir. Just tell me if you need anything...! But I also don't want*... I mean! I can do all of it, Mr. Smith sir. I want to help.

I've been thinking on my motto and I um. I'm not sure what really defines me like that. I guess I like... I like food! and puppies and kittens! oh that's not really a motto. um. I don't know. I just want to do my best and help everyone else do their best... that's kind of silly, isn't it? oh well.

sorry, I'm rambling...

* Vote: No eval

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I am delighted to see that we are all thinking on the same wavelength thus far. A company transcends from an organization to a family when everyone believes in the same goals. This is what synergy is all about.

vote: no lynch

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vote: no eval, since we haven't seen enough of how everyone acts in cooperative settings yet!


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No eval. There is nothing to evaluate thus far.

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No lynch from me. Seems a little silly jumping to conclusions in the first hour when we're barely gotten to know each other...right?


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Vote: no eval, because while I've seen some of you around P. P. P. Co. here and there, I've never really had the opportunity to interact with any of you! I'm looking forward to it.

I'm not really one for mottoes, but if I had to choose, I'd pick 'Stay true to yourself'. We can make great progress in work while being who we are, right?

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P. P. P. Co.

New Strategies for New Frontiers

You take a sip from your cup and survey the room. Perhaps this isn't what you had bargained for. The "catered lunch" ended up being a pile of sandwiches from a local fast-food chain, and the "live entertainment" turned out to be… well, a fortune teller, who isn't even ready yet. John Smith certainly has a very strange idea of what a corporate retreat should be like. But this is John Smith's first corporate retreat, and he probably expects his employees to take it all in stride.

After each employee present shares their personal mottoes, John Smith congratulates all of you, using names you don't know. It occurs to you that you have never actually come face to face with anyone here. You're all strangers to each other, despite working in cubicles and hallways next to each other for months or even years. Some of these faces fade in and out in your mind as you mull them over, but to be frank, you've never even exchanged words.

Your life in P. P. P. Co. was contained in a box that could barely fit you and your computer.

Maybe this is why John Smith organized this retreat.

John Smith has fixed the PowerPoint. He shows a few slides on leadership and recaps the rough year that P. P. P. Co. has had. There's a tear in his eye as he describes the poor quarter reports and falling profits, but he brings it back with a rousing speech about overcoming adversity. You can see the excitement in his eyes as he extols the benefits of this retreat. John Smith makes references to "well-oiled machines" and "cooperation over conflict" about twenty-five times in 10 minutes.

John Smith then flashes the strangest inspirational message on the screen.



You vaguely recall seeing this in his office once. It hangs next to a picture of him in a suit on his back wall, surrounded by an infinite amount of filing cabinets. You question why John Smith has this on his wall over say, a picture of his family, but maybe things are better left unanswered.  

John Smith then announces that the next hour will be devoted to team-building activities. Out of the corner of your eye, you see what looks to be a trust-fall exercise constructed out of precariously stacked chairs.

Oh.


No one was fired.
Hour 2 has begun. Hour 2 will end on July 9th at 8PM PST.
Please feel free to interact with other employees during this next hour.



The second activity of the retreat is one meant to improve interpersonal relations. As you can probably guess, none of you really know each other. Sharing and communication is key to building trust within our corporate culture.

The (optional) activity for today is for each employee to share one fact about themselves to the larger group. It can be anything from what you ate today to an interesting tidbit about your life, but please refrain from sharing anything too inappropriate for a company event.



Last edited by John Smith on Tue Jul 11, 2017 8:11 pm; edited 3 times in total

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Here is a fact about myself. I prefer my coffee with hazelnut creamer. As the office does not provide creamer in the break room, I often keep a bottle of it at my desk. You are all welcome to come by the marketing department to share my hazelnut creamer, as I believe it is important for all of us to maximize our energy so that we can remain at our peak productive potential! My cubicle is the third one in the second row. You will recognize it by its motivational brand promotion packets, and by the bottle of hazelnut creamer.

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A fact about me, hmmm...uh, my previous job was representing countries in a stimulated platform known as 'Model United Nations'. It was a hoot but also a farce. I loved telling people that I wasn't walking to the conference, because...

Iran.


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Sorry, bossman. There was an accident I had to tend to ysterday. To that end, my motto is now, "Buckle the fu- frig up."

And my interesting tidbit is that that was my first auto accident ever. I find I don't care for them.


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Very sorry to hear, Tiki. I'm glad you're okay.

At some point of my life, I was a child. During that period of my life, I used to carry around a pocket version of the DK Science Encyclopedia as though it were a bible. I had transcribed notes to pieces of paper I pinned on my walls for quick reference.

Those notes were right next to a completed Star Wars jigsaw puzzle, glued to cardboard and pinned on my wall.

Those notes were also right next to my collage of wolf picture magazine cutouts.

These details of my childhood form my personal fact.

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Um I don't really... know what to say. I'm from HR... no, that's... I'm sorry. um. I wanted to get a hamburger yesterday, but the stand was out so I got a hotdog instead. I don't really like hotdogs, but it was okay. I don't know what to put on hotdogs. I got nervous and said to surprise me. I've heard others say that. but I... don't think I like surprises. oh no. sorry, this isn't... um, sorry, next person, please.

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I, on the other hand, DO like hotdogs, if you know what I mean ;)

But that's not my fun fact. My fun fact is that I think facts are fun.

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